Its about me. My life. My family.
And its not always perfect. Its never perfect. Far from perfect.
And today I was faced with a dilemna. We moved here to be close to family. My family. I wanted to raise my kids... so they could see grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts, etc whenever they wanted. Because growing up I had that. And I really think that made my childhood so great. So I wanted my kids to have that.
Unfortunately... in my pefect family dream world... I forgot about the drama, gossip, etc that goes with being so close to family.
And days like this.... I want to give up. Throw in the towel and say... pfft. lets move a few hours a way... because that sounds better... today.
I have found myself distancing myself for the past year. Its like once you have a kid... people not only feel the need to give you unwanted advice... but also to tell your mom, your sister, your cousin, your uncle something they think you are doing wrong... which of course like everything else makes it full circle back to you. and leaves you hurt... and for me makes me want to confront it... because thats how I deal with it.
But knowing that confronting it will cause denial... and then hurt me more... it leaves me feeling exhuasted... and sad.
But then I see this face...
And I realize what I need to do.
Step Back take a breath... because this is what matters.
I will be the better person... I will adjust how I deal with situations like this.
I am a good mom. I am a good person. I know that. He knows that.... and thats what matters.
I will take a breathe... let it roll of my shoulders... and be the person I want to be for him.
Because at the end of the day.... I need to be a role model. And I want to show him a mature way to deal with this... because you cant make people be nice... you cant make people change... but you can change the way you react to them.
Starting today. I will make that change.
For him. For me. For Us.
15. Slobbery open mouth kisses
16. Dinner ready when I get home... my husband is the best!
17. Pot luck days in the office
18. Mint Choc Ice Cream on days like this
OMG! Are we soul sisters?!?!?! I just wrote this same thing on our family's blog(not published)!!!! Like (almost) word for word! I am sorry you had a rough day. Sending you hugs!! Hang in there because you know what really matters! Stick to your guns you awesome mama you!! XOXO
ReplyDeleteHey sistah,
ReplyDeleteDid you know that God allows certain things in our lives to actually bring us to a closer resemblance of Christs love? The 1st few verses in James speaks to this, and I want you to know that your not alone. The closer I get to leaving behind the muck (not people, but the hurts habits and hangups) the more my family of origin rejects me, my hubby and 2 beautiful girls. It really is so hard to love another knowning that there will be pain and hurt involved. I will be praying for you and I mean it! Let's start right now-
Thank you father for this humble, vunerable daughter of yours. Would you give her the patience to perservere through these relationship trials and Father, would you make her look more like my jesus through the process. Would her fam be so drwan in by your aroma of love and grace, and keep her tounge bridaled, except for when she is processing like this in a healthy way. May this draw the people in her sphere of influence closer to You. Give her the courage to do 'it' again. To put her self out there in the scary unknown world of relationships not to be hurt but to be a Dr. to those that are wounded. I ask these things in J.C's awesome name!
Amen
-Heather
Love this post!I am giving you a styish blogger award at:
ReplyDeletehttp://mrsbeachbride.blogspot.com/2011/02/stylish-blogger-award.html
I respect how you put the baby first, he is truly all that matters. That alone makes you a wonderful mother.
ReplyDelete