Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Dear Maddux

Dear Maddux,


I almost cannot even put into words the pride I have felt watching you turn into a big brother. I remember people telling me that sharing would be hard and there would be jealousy… and random things in between. But I had a feeling that they would be wrong. I kept my mouth shut and just nodded in agreement with a smile on my face (because they were trying to warn me of all the things they had experienced between their siblings… or their children) However, I knew in my heart you would be different.


You were enamored the day you got to be a big brother. Hudson was in the special care nursery so you were unable to go in and meet him. But the nurses were so kind to give you a step stool so you could stand outside the glass and see your brother. Nurse Jane brought him over… and your face lit up… and immediately you started blowing kisses to your brother repeatedly telling us how cute he was.  Your behavior… your excitement…. Your admiration brought me to tears (maybe it was the hormones… but by now you know your mom is ridiculously emotional and I can cry in an instant) But this moment…  is one of those memories I will never forget. I still remember that moment vividly as if it just happened yesterday.


I was curious to see if the "newness" of being a big brother would wear off on you. If it would get old… if jealousy would peak through at moments. I am surprised to say we haven't seen a single glimpse of jealousy. Not once. I feel guilty when you ask for something and my answer is… "is in a moment… I have to feed Hudson first" but you just say "okay" and you get it… without any type of resentment… you wait for me to get done.


Sure, there are days where you go about your business and pay little attention to your brother. You get lost playing with your toys… and the whole world disappears (which is one of my favorite things about you) But every night… you hug… and kiss your brother. Every morning the first thing you ask about is your brother. Hudson is your first thought in the morning… shortly followed by "I'm hungry" but still… :)


You have already placed yourself in the role of his protector. If he cries you want to make sure he is okay. If he whines… you are immediately by his side singing him a song to cheer him up.


I can't wait to see what your relationship evolves into. I can't wait for him to get bigger so that they two of you can play together. I can't wait to sit at dinner and listen to your conversations. I can't wait to watch you teach him new things… how to throw a football,  how to ride a bike, etc. You already want to be the one that teaches him everything…


I cannot tell you how extremely proud of you I am. Sometimes kids have a hard time transitioning into this role.  And even though I was pretty confident you would transition just as you have… there were a few worried thoughts… 5 years our lives have revolved solely around you. You have been the only child for so long… I wondered if others were right? Would this be hard on you? Would you not understand? Would you be jealous?


And every single day you show me that could not be farther from the truth. Every single day you amaze me with your maturity. You share… you play… you sing… you hug… you love your little brother with everything you have.


I always write on here about your sweet soul. Your kind spirit. I truly believe you are a unique kid… I thank God every single day for you. You are such a blessing to us. 




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