Sunday, August 24, 2014

Patiently... Or Not So Patiently Waiting

Few warnings.
1. This post contains a lot of complaining
2. This is probably a read only if you are female type of post.

So, it's no secret around here we have hopes of expanding our family.

And with Maddux, it happened so easily. Almost too easy... and I just assumed it would be like that for our second. You can read about struggles we have had... here and here.

We just recently started seriously discussing a sibling. But still... it's been some ... waiting.
I mean, this whole thing is crap. I am one of those people that are not all that in tune with my body. Some people can sense the tiniest thing... I am not one of those people. I have about 12 apps on my phone that are guessing at the "most likely" time frame... and the amazing thing is... they are all different.

I'm okay with all of it on most days. I figure whatever should happen... will happen. And if I'm meant to only have one kid. I am completely okay with that. Ill leave it up to fate... and just go with it.
I enjoy all this one on one time with Maddux. He will soon be 5 years old.. and these 5 years have been all about him. I have loved being able to give him my undivided attention at all times.

But trying for a baby is hard. And that week before Aunt flow visits you start second guessing everything. You start looking for signals that aren't there, or misreading normal monthly signals and hoping it means... something else. Reading early pregnancy signs lists online (which let me tell you... those symptoms are the exact same symptoms you get for your period) so every single month you are filled with false hope..  And then you buy 30 pregnancy tests just so you can have a visual reminder... that no... not this month. try again. and now you are sad and out 50 bucks.
It usually takes me that 1 day. That 1 day that I realize... this month is not the month. That day is hard for me. Not hard as in... I weep in my bathroom. But just.. frustrating annoyance for that day...

I know some people who try getting pregnant and have a hard time seeing pregnant women. Or their friends getting pregnant. And I understand why those people have such a hard time. Because when you want something, and we create a picture in our head... we want that. as soon as possible. Because.. its human nature. I am not to that point, and I hope that never happens. I do want to stop and ask strangers how long it took.... and I want them to tell me... they waited a while.... just to make myself feel better.

I realize... I am lucky enough to have one kid. There are so many women out there trying and trying.. and they are struggling to even have just the one. So I don't want to come across as selfish. because I understand we all have our struggles. This is just a post complaining about my current struggle.

I have always wanted my kids farther apart in age.
I have always thought I wanted 2 kids...
but... I have fears of losing another pregnancy.

So to be honest, I am kind of doing okay...

Until Maddux hits me with the...

"Mom, can you make a baby grow in your belly, I want a baby"
And I want so badly to give him what he is asking for. Watching him with my friends baby... I know he would be such a great big brother. Will there be days of fighting... and not getting along if so come the day... absolutely. But he wants a companion. And in that moment... my heart aches. He is on this baby kick lately... and its getting to me. He will put his hand on my belly and ask me if there is a baby brother in there... and I have to tell him No... No honey...Not yet. and he is sad. and looks at me so innocently and says... I just want a baby.

I know that everything happens for a reason. I believe things work out the way they are supposed to.I just wish... I knew how it would all play out in the end. This sitting around... guessing... wondering... it sucks.

I just need a crystal ball to tell me where I am this time... next year.
The not knowing is killing me.

Meanwhile, I find silver linings each month.
I get to spend more time with Maddux. Which in a way I am so thankful for.
Today is just one of those days.... I feel the need to complain.
Try explaining to a 4 year old... that you cant just make a baby grow in your belly.
Because... he literally asks once every 4 days. And I just wish he knew how badly I wish that was the way it worked.

In other news. I'll leave you with the cutest little boy accepting the ALS challenge to raise awareness :)

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Great Grandparent's Dresser

I grabbed a dresser that used to be my great grandparents.
Some people believe in keeping it in original condition, as it was.
But for me... I love taking furniture and giving it new life.

So I painted it... and stained it... so it could be used in Maddux's room.

I went back and forth with building a media stand for his tv, but I thought at this age... the drawers adds more storage for all those toys. When we hit the years of less toys... I can probably figure something new out... but for right now, and this project being 100% free. Its perfect.

So we have the refinished dresser.
Moved the awesome Star Wars print we found on Ebay a while back.
Then I took an old ugly canvas and painted that... and hand wrote... Be Brave.
Added in some photos my mom had done of Maddux and Nala
And now we have another little area of his room updated.
I need to find a few more things for this wall, but I'm not too sure yet what I will add. I think I might paint that vent so it blends in with the wall rather than standing out..

And i need to figure out what we will do with that corner to the right...

Not too bad for it costing us nothing and just using what we had laying around.

(before I had his tv just sitting on an old sofa table) so this is a HUGE improvement!

We still have a lot to do in this room.
Build a bed
Add some wall storage crates to display toys and trophies and what not.
wall decor.
Touch up a few areas of paint that need it.
put a new light fixture in
add moulding to the door
paint his closet door
add built ins for the walk in closet
build a night stand

We are thinking about dividing this room into a sleep/tv area and a play area. Im not sure yet. I still need to mark it all out and make a final decision. we are just taking it one small step at a time :)

Monday, August 11, 2014

A day at the fair...

Our Day At The Fair

A day spent with the family
Memories made
Petting zoo
Ice cream
Sno Cones

Happy kids
>>>Happy Parents<<<

Friday, August 8, 2014

Basement Updates ... 8 months later.

Remember when we left off on the basement back in..... December????


Shocker...  since I have only taken 8 months to put up an update.

Well here is where we left off. Before we took a break over ... spring... and most of summer :)

Well we got everything taped.. mudded... sanded... textured... primed...


We even started laying floor!!!!! Now its still dusty down here (we have the saw down here cutting and finishing up a few things)

We are waiting on the a few more boxes of flooring to come in so we can finish up. But for now... we are just happing it is starting to actually look like a room.

Now its finally starting to look like a room. We have a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG way to go.
But its coming along.

We are hoping to finish up the floor. Start boxing out around the duct work, build some wood beams around those, prime the windows, start painting the walls, put in doors, and put up trim... all before Christmas.

This week concentrating on painting the window and door trim white, giving the walls another coat of primer, and then hopefully get the wall painted. Which should make this room look completely different at the next step.

So we will be busy around here for the next few months. But I would like to think that some of the hardest parts are behind us now?


And just a note... we decided to go with the vinyl wood planks. They were super easy to put in. They clicked together like laminate and just went right over the concrete. They are waterproof.. and seemed like a really good option for the basement. So we decided to give it a try. plus... it looks pretty :)

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Little Man. Big Desk

We finally started Maddux's room. Key word = Finally. We have been planning to start it all summer. Now it's August... and we finally got the ball rolling.

We decided to redo his room in a way that suits him. Rather than keep the Star Wars theme, we wanted to fill the room with all things that are him. So this means... Star Wars, Super heroes, Legos, Make Believe, and ART. He loves making artwork, and he loves showing it off.

So we decided to give him an art station in order to just do that.

The desk was originally our sofa table, but we decided we needed more storage down there to hide Madddux's toys that get thrown about, so we moved this upstairs and it worked perfectly. It gives him a lot of room to sprawl out lots of paper (which he loves!)
and a new sofa table project for the living room (which I love!)

 We put some plywood up on the wall so that the pins wouldn't go through to the wall, then used spray adhesive to attach the cork board to the plywood. Then took some molding and framed it out to create a giant cork board. Since.Since we cut the cork board there was a seam down the middle that we weren't very excited about so we took a 1x3 and covered that up. Then we took a small piece of string and hung some Instagram photos across the top! And now he has another place to show off his creativity!

First corner of the new big boy bedroom... Complete!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Outdoor Updates

Every year we try and do something to the outside of this house. I can decorate the inside... but the outside... I don't know where to start. And believe me this house needs a lot of help on the outside.

Lots of EXPENSIVE updates.

Like a new fence.
And some serious weed control
And the backyard goes at a straight slope downhill that needs leveling
The driveway needs to be re-sealed.

Did I mention a new fence? I cringe thinking about the price on that thing. Ugh.

So I'm ignoring the big stuff right now...

Right now... I am going to show you a very tiny update.
But updates that are easy on my checking account make me happy.

So here is an old before photo of our entry

See that light? That lovely silver builder grade type of light?
The light itself is fine. Lots of people love these lights...
I just... wanted something a little bit more our style. And this past week... I found some at Lowe's that were 50% off! Which was perfect!!!! Then had my awesome father in law stop by and install them! (Thanks Rod!)

And here are the new lights :)

I like that they stand out from the house... rather than blending in like the old ones.
And I love that they were 50% off. :)

Have you scored any great deals this summer?
Wanting to update your lights??? Check out the clearance section this time of year! :)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Baseball Summer

I never want my little man to grow up too fast. 
I'm never in too big of a rush for him to grow up. 
But this summer was an exciting one for us. 
When we found out we were having a boy... we couldn't wait for summers filled with...
And this was our first real summer at getting a very tiny glimpse of that. 

He loved batting.
Loved it.
And would practically knock himself over swinging that bat as hard as he could. 

he went back and forth.
sometimes in ready position.
sometimes chasing after a ball
other times
making silly faces at his friend
dancing around
or daydreaming.

But all in all. 
what a great way to spend summer
looking forward to this in summers to come. 
Fingers crossed you stick with this sport kiddo. 
Mom and Dad love watching you play :)
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