In the beginning … a simple look from him would make me lose all thought, would make butterflies go frantic in my stomach, I would forget to breathe, he would make my face explode with a smile. Just a look…. I fell head over heels in love… and fell quickly. Falling in love has got to be one of the best feelings in the world. You are excited, nervous, scared…. Happy. Insanely Happy. This face makes me insanely happy.
You always miss something once its gone….. and I miss those feelings. I really miss those feelings. I miss the Did he mean to touch my hand, the fireworks feeling from kissing, the dizzy headed giddy little girl he made me feel like.
Don’t get me wrong. I love our relationship now.
Now with a single look we know what the other is thinking. It’s like our own secret language. The saying goes… If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. And I can tell you in all honesty I believe my husband is the funniest guy on the planet. His impersonations, his sarcasm, his blonde moments…. He always makes me laugh. But he can’t make me do anything. I still hate the history Channel. Hate it. And he tries to make me like it. ;)
But anyways…. Our relationship has evolved into this partnership. This being able to communicate without talking…. Supportive, understanding, open partnership. He holds all of my secrets, all of my thoughts, all of my dreams… he is my support system. He is my best friend. My everything.
We face the challenge of raising this little person together. And so far it has been an incredible journey. I will tell you that it is not as hard as I thought it would be. Some days are harder than others, don’t get me wrong. But parenting has been a stage of “discovery” This past year we have discovered things about ourselves individually, as a couple, and an ummm honey….did you know babies did that?!!?!?!! But I have never been the "OOHHH BABIES" girl. I never wanted to babysit as a teenagers and when I did.... most likely I hated it. Now I did think babies were cute... especially my nieces. But holidays... my nieces would exhaust me. I would come home exhausted. But at that time there were four of them. So in my head I was thinking that was parenting... four not one. So if you can follow where I am going with this. I pictured parenting to be hard because I was basing it off of the exhausting from four adorable very energized little gals. :)
Our lives are far from perfect…. sometimes we struggle… we fight, we get frustrated, we lose patience, we nag,
And even though I can tell you I miss the jitter bug feelings of falling in love, I realize that this stage of our relationship is just as important and in 10-15 years I am going to look back and say… “I miss those days… I miss those feelings” I believe that in our early years we developed a foundation for our relationship. But right now, we are building the foundation for our family… which comes with all new ideas, discussions, learning how to listen more to each other… rearranging priorities…. Really just discovering who we are as adults (because I still don’t feel like one)
I am guilty of taking my husband for granted. And I am not afraid to say it. I take him for granted probably on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful daily for him. But I don’t say it out-loud on a daily basis.
My husband inspires me to be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, grand-daughter, simply a better person. He makes me realize I sometimes take life too seriously, and to slow down. Take time to enjoy the little moments in life. To realize I cannot plan out every situation perfectly... and when things go not as planned... to breathe (because I do forget)
Now the sound of feet running down the halls is our favorite sound in our house. Our late nights of eating popcorn in bed watching friends marathons has turned into... passing out in bed around 9pm with Maddux's dinner often embedded somewhere into my hair or pajamas. Our weekends of laying in bed til 10-11 am have turned into waking up at 7 am to an adorable voice calling out "mama", "Dada", "nala"
But I can tell you that I cant say I have ever been this happy. Sincerely happy. I have that feeling of... this is exactly where I am meant to be daily. And how does it get better than that?
I have a husband that changes all poopy diapers if he is home (because they are disgusting and make me gag). I have a husband who does housework on his days off. I have a husband who wants to go grocery shopping with me. I have a husband who makes dinner if he gets home first. I have a husband that still realizes its important to take me out on dates every once in a while. I have a husband that understand on a bad day stopping and picking me up a McDonald's coke will make everything a lil better. I have a husband who every day makes our family his number one priority. I have a husband who tells me daily how much he loves me. And I am thankful. More thankful than he will ever know. More thankful that I can ever express into words.
And a few of my favorite pictures of us engagement/wedding photos :)