Thursday, June 12, 2014

Some Little Known Facts About The Woman Behind The Blog

Here are a few facts about my wife, so that her readers could get to know her a little better.

My Wife Is Fearless….Well Almost
When it comes to fast cars, heights, and roller coasters  my wife is cool, calm, and collected.  Performing dance routines in front of hundreds of people my wife doesn’t break a sweat. Scary movies, please, the girl’s heart rate doesn’t even flutter.    You could almost say that she is as cold as ice.   But show her tight wool sweater and the palms begin to sweat and the hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up.  This girl has the irrational fear of being trapped in her clothes.  That’s right the fear of being trapped in clothes. And I have witnessed this firsthand.  The girl most of the time puts on clothes without a problem but every so often I’ll hear screaming coming from the bedroom and the screams turn into a full on panic attack.  The first time I heard it I honestly thought she really hurt herself and I raced up the stairs only to find my wife with her chin buried into her chest hunched over with both arms fully extended stuck in a hoodie.  I went to google to look and see if this was an actual phobia.  She claims Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia-(Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.)  However, I feel there is a distinct difference between being stuck in an elevator and being stuck in a blouse.  I didn’t have any luck with my search and after a while I honestly I got bored and just stopped looking but before I did, I was able to find this  Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words-How awesome is that...
My Wife Doesn’t Know How To Speak English ANYMORE
My wife’s inability to use the word “anymore” properly is something that drives me crazy.  I blame this on her mother who is also very guilty of this and most likely gave this horrible habit to all that has lived with her.  My wife for whatever reason puts the word anymore at the end of random sentences for absolutely no good reason.  For example my wife would say,  “Hey Jer, you are always looking so sexy anymore”…why is that word there??? To use the word “anymore” your sentence should imply that the subject used to do something but now isn’t doing it …ANYMORE.
My Wife Doesn’t Believe in Aliens But Is Prepared Just In Case They Invade
My wife for as long as she has lived on this Earth has never finished a glass of anything.  Nor does she know where the sink is located in our house.  This makes for a lot of half full glasses of water, coffee, juice, etc in every room of our home.  If you have ever wondered what happened to that little girl from the movie “Signs” she grew up and I married her.  But as long as I remember to “swing away” my home will be safe from alien invasion.
“We Will Get It On Pay Day”
My wife loves shopping …well that’s not true she loves looking she very rarely buys…well that’s not true either she buys but only things for Maddux and me.  When it comes time to get anything for her this is the conversation most likely to take place …
Fawn:  I like this
Jerry: Put it in the cart
Fawn: Should I
Jerry: Put it in the cart
Fawn: I’ve been looking for something like this for a while
Jerry:  Put it in the cart
Fawn:  I’ll wait till payday
Jerry: Oh my God
Followed by sometimes but not always
Jerry: We get paid at midnight
Fawn: We’ll just have to come back tomorrow
This drives me crazy.  There is nothing that my wife wants at Marshalls or TJMaxx that we can’t get that day, but still she insists that we come back on payday.  When we come back the item is most likely gone this also drives me insane. 
My Wife Has The Ability To Hear My Thoughts But Is Unable To Hear An Alarm Clock  
So many times my wife has somehow heard what I was thinking or something that I had said under my breath, almost word for word like she has some sort of super power.  However, her real super power is the ability to ignore an alarm clock no matter how loud it is.  One thing is for sure she is not one of those people guilty of lying in bed and hitting the snooze button over and over…for her there is no need.
My Wife Balances So Many Plates And Does Everything Well
My wife is a spectacular mother, a great friend, a travel agent,  a do-it-yourselfer, a blogger, a career woman, and much much more, and doesn’t half ass any of it.  My wife is all about our son.  I mentioned earlier that Fawn will not buy herself anything but she will get our son anything and everything he is a spoiled little boy.  She spends countless hours researching the best places to go for his sports and the kid is in everything.  (Basketball, Soccer, Baseball, Hockey, Karate)  She creates the best birthday parties for him as well, most of which have been highlighted on this blog.  Each one tailored to a specific theme of his choice and each one better than the last.
One of my biggest flaws is that I am a horrible long distance friend.  I’m not a phone person, I’m not one to sit down and write a email either.  In fact the last time I’ve seen some of my closest and dearest friends was at their weddings or the weddings of others.  My wife however is not that way at all.  She keeps up with all of her “besties”. 
Fawn is our family’s travel agent she plans out our trips which are always fun and exciting.  
I’m not sure I can pinpoint exactly when it happened but at some point my wife became obsessed with a couple do-it –yourself blogs and then had the crazy idea to not only start doing house projects but to write about them as well.  I’m not ashamed to admit that most days I wish she had just stuck to facebook but I’m also not afraid to say she is good at what she does.  I think that it’s really cool that she has found these hobbies.  I remember when ACL just came out and how excited she was every time she got a new follower.  It took some time to take off at first and she would get a new follower every so often I especially remember when she finally got her 13th and I told her “keep it up Jesus only had 12.”  She still gets excited with each new follower.
What is truly amazing is that she does all of this and is still able to have a successful career. 

Other Fun Fawn Facts 

-She doesn't believe in dinosaurs-just let that one sink in
-She uses the word amazing way too much
-She has an amazing vertical leap-not amazing like she could dunk but amazing like when she jumps you could slide 1 maybe 2 pieces of paper underneath her it's amazing
-She has a huge crush on Bruce Willis-he's amazing 
-She won most improved female bowler in her college bowling class
-The song "little miss can't me wrong" was written by Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors after meeting Fawn when she was a little girl
-She prefers action movies to chic flicks
-She mentally/physically prepares for doing pull ups by quickly walking in place underneath the pull up bar
-All of females in her family believe that June Bugs feed on human hair
-She is truly amazing and I love her with all of my heart

I am without a doubt the luckiest guy in the world.  I am so thankful to have met my wife.  Everyday that passes I find something new that I love about her.  She is beautiful, smart, funny, selfless, caring, and just the right amount of goofy.  She truly is the total package and I hit the jackpot

2 comments:

  1. Wow! Amazing! 'nuff said. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. aww this was such a cute posts! having known you two when you first got together, I gotta say........you both are "amazing"! ;)

    ReplyDelete

 
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