Hate writing this post.

So this week has been pretty rough.
I guess Ill start with the least important and move my way up...

1. My camera broke. Which means no blogging until it is fixed. So that was annoying for the birthday party. No photos of the party... because it broke about 20 minutes before it started (of course). but it will get fixed... and everything will be back to normal soon... as far as that goes.

2. I got admitted into the hospital for the first time ever. I had a gland on my neck that was swollen for about 2 weeks... and then it got huge... Like HUGE. like goiter looking off my neck... and hurt like #$(#*$(#. So I sat in the emergency room for 7 hours... Finally got into the ER. They were out of beds... and sat in the ER room which had no TV no nothing for 10 hours. Then got put in a room... with a crazy lady that cussed out nurses and slapped them. It was quite an eventful few days.
My neck is still swollen. They think it might take 6 days for it to go down... which is sad. because my face looks crazy. But this too... will get better over time... and everything will be okay. But right now its huge and it hurts... and I want it gone NOW.

3. During all this... We lost the baby. Very sad. and sucks to write on here. but since we announced it... announcing this seems mandatory. So this week was rough... really rough.
But doc said... just one of those things that happened. no reason... and at least he did say the likelihood of it happening again is less likely. so there is that. So I guess that is a small silver lining. But it still... sucks. So our second baby is up in heaven...

So there is all my bad news...

I figured I would write it on here. Not something I want to talk about... because somehow when people say I am sorry... it makes me cry instantly. I am fine. until someone says those words. so I am not a huge fan of those words right now.

But we will try again... and everything will be fine. I know that. And I am trying to move on and not let it affect anything going on this year for Christmas.

A good thing is ... Maddux is oblivious. So his innocence... can cheer me up within seconds. and the distraction of Christmas... and Maddux's love of all things Christmas is also helping.
And Jerry has been amazing. So with the love of my boys... and the magical season of Christmas we are getting through it.

I figured.. announcing it this way... keeps people from asking me in person. Because right now... I am not ready for that. I know that with time... things will be fine.

Well I figure I will keep this short and simple. I hope you all have a great weekend :)