Thursday, July 10, 2014

Dear Maddux

Dear Maddux,

Right now you are 4.5 years old.... tonight you fell asleep against my chest... like you used to when you were a baby. But now... you are half the size of me. I just sit there staring... thinking how did all this time go by so quick, 4 and 1/2 years... and my baby is disappearing a little bit every single day.  It's bitter sweet. I just lay here... praying I don't forget these moments. These little every day moments with you.

A lot of things about you are so much the same as they were 6 months ago. I came home on lunch break today to see you and dad... and there you were... in your batman mask, batman cape, and batman car driving up and down the street... and it just makes me smile. Your love of superheroes... and costumes... brightens my day. You are adorable.

I am so thankful, that when I watch you... you are still sweet, and nice. You care about other people and you go out of your way to be kind to other kids. You are soft spoken... and curious... but never mean. I hope you never lose that. Never stop being curious... and always be kind. No matter what.

You still think planes are airplanes.
You still want me to kiss your boo boos.
You still crawl into our bed (but this has been slowing down)
You still talk to Nala as if she is your best friend.
You still can play action figures for hours.
You still walk around mimicking every single thing your father does.
You still cuddle up with me and watch movies.
You still love spending time with your cousins (aka your best friends)

But there are so many changes... both physically... and emotionally.

You are losing  your toddler look... and I am starting to see you not as my baby.. but as a kid. An actual kid. I still catch glimpses of my sweet toddler... even if those glimpses are mostly while you are asleep and mom is just staring at you... creepily fighting back tears of losing my baby.

You are stubborn. so stubborn. and you argue like no other.
You don't give in... and you don't forget.
You remember every tiny detail i ever say to you... and if i forget... you will remind me... your memory is astonishing.
And you lie. How do kids lie this early?? You test your limits... and you try so hard to see what we will allow you to get away with... 4.5 years old = testing boundaries. at. all. times.
And you are sneaky! Oh so sneaky.... I will say no fruit snacks before dinner, I leave the room just to find you climbing the pantry shelves trying to get the very thing i said no to... and you will in return blame it on Nala. Like that is going to work... and you stick to that story... trying to convince me that its true. sneaky... stubborn... little boy :) I must admit... I love when you blame anything and everything on poor Nala. It cracks me up.

You are getting braver... little by little. You are hesitant and seem to have an internal conflict with trying to be like the bigger kids you watch... however, timid and unsure. You still need reassurance that its okay... but I see that going away very soon.

You just started watching movies other than cartoons a few weeks ago. Your current favorites are ET, Hook, Never Ending Story, and Never Ending Story 2.  Its a nice break for mom and dad... and to be honest we love re-watching movies we loved as kids with you.

We added in a few new things this summer.

You are playing t-ball this year at the boys club... and you are one of the youngest on the team. However, you are blending right in. You swing your bat so hard you are knocking yourself over as you do it. You love batting. Its your favorite part of the game. Fielding... we are still working on. You stand out there in the ready position... but I am curious where your mind is... if you are actually thinking about those action figures you left in the car. Because... you don't move a muscle when the ball is hit :) or you will slowly head over... and watch someone else pick up the ball that was literally 2 steps from you :) and you are all smiles... like you just made the best play in baseball ... just by watching the other kid throw the ball. You are having a blast out there and that is all that matters. And for only being 4 years old... me and dad are quite impressed with how well you are doing... we are looking forward to future summers filled with baseball.

This summer we also got you your first bike. It was a struggle at first to get you on the bike. But one day of riding bikes with your friend, Ian... and now that's all you want to do. And you are getting faster and braver by the day. You haven't figured out how to brake yet. So, rather than hitting the brakes... you steer yourself straight into the grass to force the bike to stop. We will get there though.

This summer you have spent most of the days home with dad. I am so envious of your time together while i am off at work. But its good for you. It gives you guys a chance to hang out and have some much needed one on one time. You two practice a lot of baseball... ride bikes... play superheroes... watch movies... and dig up pet worms for you to keep in your wagon outside (yes, you love collecting new pet worms)

Even though I realize I am slowly losing my baby boy... I am lucky that you are turning into such a great kid. You make me laugh daily... with your goofy personality. You go out of your way to make me and dad happy.... telling us jokes, being silly, and putting on shows for us. I am so thankful for your creativity... you honestly have such a unique little spirit about you. I hope you never lose that quality... your smile is contagious... I can never get enough of that little grin of yours.

Thank you Maddy, for making me smile day after day.


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