Monday, February 3, 2014

Mom confessions - I have no imagination

Last week I discussed starting the imperfect moms series. I touched lightly on the fact that I do not hold my ground when I sometimes should. I allow my kid to crawl into our bed every night at 3am on the dot... and I do not feel bad about it.

I decided to start a series about all the things I do wrong as a mom. Because I think it is important for us as moms to know... we all do things we are told we shouldn't. We all feel guilty of not doing enough. Today we have unrealistic ideas of what we should be doing. So I thought I would share with you the things I either do wrong against society's new standards or what I feel guilty I can improve on.

I have zero imagination. I actually did not have an imagination as a child. I never played barbies. I never understood girls that could pretend those dolls were real. It did not make sense to me. And I find this to be a struggle as a mom.... because I have a son that has a WILD imagination. I can sit in complete fascination and watch him play for hours.... He plays for HOURS with action figures. Acting out scenes from cartoons, books, movies... etc. He makes up his own scenarios... these tiny men come to life for him. His imagination is inspiring.

My son dresses up as a super hero... ninja turtle... transformer... etc. Every. Single. Night. He is constantly in his own world and most of the time content when doing so to be in his own world. And often I find myself just watching the show he is putting on... not for me... but for himself.

However, the problem occurs ... when he wants me to join in. It's strange that I can watch him... and be fully entertained. But I cannot participate. It is almost painful. I still to this day have no imagination. I can't even fake it for my kid. Its pathetic really. I mean... 5 minutes in and I am trying to come up with a plan on how to distract him to something else. I want to do anything but pretend to be wolverine for an hour. I do not want to play batman super heroes... when really most of the time... I play wrong and get scolded by him anyways. But  my point is... I don't want to. I don't want to play pretend. Its terrible for me.

I enjoy structured play. With rules... and a purpose. I have always been this way. I can do craft time for hours... I can play with Play-Doh.... I can play board games... puzzles... video games... But I need rules... Or a purpose. I cannot just sit down and pretend to be a superhero.

It is a struggle because I have a kid who enjoys this. And I try... and even if I really try... I am not enjoying it. I would rather watch him. Luckily his dad is the opposite of me and enjoys this type of play over any structured play. So we do balance each other out pretty well.

I never want him to lose his imagination. I love it. It probably fascinates me so much because it is something I have never had. But I am more than willing to admit... it is treacherous. I will almost always try to come up with something else we could do. I have even bribed my son with sugary treats to end my pain.

So there you go... my confession... one of many reasons I am a terrible mom.
A terrible mom with an awesome kid... with a killer imagination.
I'm okay with it though... he can have this with his dad... this can be there thing. because when it comes to the age of video gaming... I will be WAY cooler than his dad. Well maybe not. But at least it will be fun for me :)

So there you go. Confession. I have no imagination. And even though I do believe it is important for our children to keep their imagination. I am not one to get down... and pretend to be a captain america eating tiger willingly. Because 1. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? and 2. I just don't want to.  I am a selfish mom that only likes to play games that I find fun.
However... I could honestly not turn on my tv all night and just watch my son run around and beat up imaginary villains all night. I truly believe someday... he might just save this world. :)

My son... The performer

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