Sunday, June 1, 2014

So there is this boy...

This boy...

This boy melts my heart.
More than I can ever even say.

I get so tired of this world pushing our boys to be strong, rowdy, and thick skinned.

I never want to push him to get rid of his innocence. And I think a lot of people have a hard time understanding our way about it.

This little boy is all boy. Every part of him. He has a love of superheroes, fast cars, and wrestling.

But he is sensitive and caring... and oh so sweet.
He still holds my hand in the car... just because he loves me.
He still climbs into our bed... mumbling how he just wants to snuggle.
He still needs me to kiss his boo boos.
He still wants to grow up and marry his mommy.
He still sleeps clutching his prized stuffed animals.
He still wants to be carried when he is tired.

There are so many sweet moments with this boy.

I never want him to lose that.

I want to teach him that he can show compassion. I want him to know Men love without boundaries. They are confident.

As his mother I want him to come to me at any point in his life and be able to trust me. To know I will love him without judgment. He can show his emotions... and I support him. I support his whole heart always.

I don't believe in toughening up my child. I don't.

I do believe in being there.
I do believe in being his biggest cheer leader.
I do believe in being the one he can confide in
I do believe in being his protector
I do believe in being his mom.

At the age of 4. He gets on base in t-ball... he immediately looks for me so he can see me smiling. He finishes his kicks in karate and he looks at me smiles and gives me a thumbs up. In hockey... he looks up in the bleachers to wave and see me watching. I do believe in being there always. And I love being the one he looks for in those moments.

Life goes by too fast. So fast once you have kids. And someday... he is going to have his own family... and I hope and pray that I am the one he will come running to and tell me with the same excitement in his eyes as I see now at the age of 4 when he gets on first base... I hope I get that when he is playing sports in high school... or gets his college acceptance letter or... tells me he met the girl he is going to marry... or comes running out to me to introduce me to his first child... or whatever other events may happen in his life.... I hope I am always the one he runs to.

My job is not to toughen up his sweet soul.
My job is to be here.

Just be here.
Smiling and encouraging him every step of the way.

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